Modern job titles: why a "vibe curator" does not replace a HR department...

Linkedin-Merchant (definition #9)

NOUN

1. Someone who is overly creative with their job titles to the point where any role becomes incomprehensible at the surface level. It is common that this title hides an extremely mundane role.

• Anon: "I had a guy visit me calling himself a product evangelist once. Threw him out."

Dear Network,

In something of a continuation of or indeed, a "circling back to" my post on the subtext around job descriptions, this weeks edition of Officially Unemployed explores the ever-increasing creativity that we see with the formulation of job titles and what lies behind these masks. Are they designed to draw us in? Does being an "innovation sherpa" actually involve guiding your team leader through the Himalayas? Or are those that have been doing these jobs for years simply looking for something different to put in their Linkedin headline?

As the more modern attitudes to work become a mainstay across corporate culture, it is no secret that most employers want to distance themselves from the "corporate grind" ways of old and, at the very least, provide the illusion of reducing power distance and introducing more work-life balance into what were previously draconian productivity factories.

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you can probably imagine what my stance on this phenomenon is and may be already able to sense the incoming cynicism, and frankly you aren't wrong. Before anyone tries to throw more scary corporate dialect at me though, I can recognise that some firms are making genuine attempts to modernise their positions and modifying a job title may be small part of that alongside concrete internal actions. By and large though, I am of the view that these overly-fluffy job titles do not only lack clarity and definitely do not lack in pretentiousness, but are a thinly veiled attempt at creating an impression of a friendly company culture that, in my experience, often simply does not exist.

In a now familiar format, let's look into some of the most ridiculous job titles on ol' reliable Linkedin and decode what they might mean:

"Soldier"

If this doesn't constitute the reddest of red flags, then I don't know what does.

To a wildly disconnected hiring manager, the notions surrounding a soldier can be perceived as only positive. Often related to entry-level sales roles, this kind of military analogy is commonplace in small businesses and start-ups that are prioritising growth as their principle objective. Searching for someone who is willing to be on time, and have exemplary work ethic may seem innocuous, but here's what this kind of role can look like in practice.

1. Questioning management decisions is not an option.

2. Input regarding creative/process modification is not listened to. You are there to follow your orders

3. KPI's that will give you nightmares

4. Competitive workplace culture

5. Morally questionable or unethical sales tactics, put simply, lying to prospects.

Whilst, as usual, this must be taken with a pinch of salt, any desk job that carries warlike analogies may be something to take a closer look into before firing off a CV. To me, this kind of imagery plays into the toxic, predominantly male-led culture that comes with these types of incentive based roles and is, if anything, a step backwards. Stick to Sales Development Representative (SDR).

"Swiss Army Knife"

Ah, another startup classic. As I am sure most of you know, the Swiss Army Knife is a penknife and multi tool kit that is renowned for its usefulness in many given situations. This image of adaptability is definitely what nobody's favourite manager was going for when they typed out this Indeed job advert and is essentially someone that does a bit of everything as the firm does not yet have enough staff to cover every role. Again, this may not always be an issue and, if advertised up-front, at least the future employees have a sense of the often unrealistic demands on their time and abilities.

The real issue here though is that a "Swiss army knife" almost never starts out as one and is often not given the credit for it. In many cases, an employee will enter a job role expecting to do one thing and be dragged into a multitude of other tasks and projects feeling unable to say no for fear of not being considered a "team player".

*Insert Department* NINJA

Please. Shut. Up. (This one is a bit of a rant)

As this goes on, I'm aware I might be sounding like the bitter and boring company stalwart that is terrified of smartphones and makes apparently "tongue in cheek" comments about matters ranging from The Cloud (another touchy subject) to their more inappropriate views on workplace attire and established gender roles (we all know one). For the purpose of this though, please hear me out.

Like our predecessors, and despite their belief that our "soft" and "entitled" generation has everything handed to them, we have to work pretty hard to get to the roles that we're in. Aside from the frequently referenced nepo babies, young professionals have to work hard to get to where they are. I don't know about you, but I don't want to go through 8 stages of a recruitment process, spend 4 years at university whilst gaining the scarce professional experience available and eventually become an expert in a given field to be fobbed off with a meaningless job title that likens me to someone skilled in the art of Ninjitsu.

Before I am so graciously informed by readers that a secondary definition of 'ninja' is in fact someone who is very skilled or an expert in a certain area, I know and I don't care. The fact is that its hard enough to be taken seriously in the working world as it is without having to launch into a 5 minute explanation of your job role whilst someone vastly more experienced than you looks down their nose and snickers at the title you've been assigned. Everyone sees through this random corporate jargon that, whilst being built to make a role sound modern and impressive, is just ambiguous. I can't help but feel a sense of condescension when dubbed with a title like this, as if you are the "chief helper" or "star of the week" at primary school. Showing an employee their value can start with the title you give them. Just another example of us being belittled by our elders in the office.

There's a few more like this that just feel, if anything, unnecessary such as Chief Mischief Officer for PR/Marketing or Chief Troublemaker for CEO. Whilst I can understand the intention to create some disruption in the status quo or use these titles to push their brand message (Bai's stunt that employed Justin Timberlake as their Chief Flavour Officer) but I feel it is becoming overused and creates a lack of clarity which can dilute a young professional's sense of pride.

Rant over, on we go.

"Vibe Curator"

As the eponymous hero and final feature of this week's entry, there are countless blog posts that refer to this role as "the most millennial job ever."

A 2017 MarketWatch article breaks down the somewhat unclear responsibilities that come with this modern role, interviewing the CEO of Bateman Group. These range from creating office playlists, stocking employee fridges with healthy snacks and organising team building events in addition to other "actual work". You can check that article out here: Being a vibe manager is the most millennial job title ever that actually pays - MarketWatch .

Now, it would be unfair for me to say that the results that come with this kind of role is an unwelcome addition to any office environment. Team building activities and having someone dedicated to 'optimising' your workspace is not an intrinsically bad principle. However, I think that, in many cases, the so-called benefits of these things are often more symbolic than practical.

Smaller and growing companies can often not have an effective or indeed any HR process or department in place and, particularly in tech, this is substituted by a vibe curator or another similarly vague role. In the midst of unfair and downright illegal dismissals and abhorrent workplace behaviour, they feel that company-enforced "fun" and unlimited Chips Ahoy will placate their young staff into reaching ridiculous KPI's and force them to grit their teeth and smile when met with undue pressure, constant employee turnover and a lack of holiday, remote working opportunities and sick pay conditions that are borderline illegal.

I think since Google introduced these kinds of workplace adjustments to a lot of positive press, companies have tried to follow suit with limited success after they were frequently named as the "best place to work". Employers have taken well thought-out and research-backed measures to increase productivity and now view them as a replacement for the basic requirement to allow a decent work-life balance, fair vacation and parental leave, and general human treatment of their employees. The fact is, it's much more critical to have effective HR in place which will ultimately be valued a lot more by employees than any work a "vibe curator" could ever do.

My point here? Just because there are nap pods at the office doesn't mean anyone should be working an extra 3 hours a day. These additions should not be lauded over employees to guilt them into working themselves to death and having normal checks and balances in place is absolutely critical. Companies should not be able to take advantage of young staff with limited workplace knowledge and attempt to placate them through symbolic "vibes".

As much as this post has been me bitterly moaning about something that probably does not seem to matter that much, there is a key takeaway I'd like to leave you with...

Company culture changes through action. It is so much more important to put employees first and create an open and honest dialogue about what is expected of them, and to support new and struggling employees through those difficult spots, rather than pulling PR-friendly stunts that have very little practical benefit. Let's lose the nonsense and focus on actually improving.

As with all of these posts, it's important to remember that I am trying to write something impactful and some of my thoughts may be slightly exaggerated. I would love to hear your thoughts on this and, as usual, feel free to get in touch!

See you in the next one, merchants.

Your favourite LM/ writing epic storyteller guru hybrid travel-writer XBOX360,

AT